The Return (The Returning) Returns…

March 7, 2013 § Leave a comment

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Hallo.

Well, it’s been almost five months since I last ranted incoherently on these not-so-hallowed pages, and in that time I’ve moved house. Twice. I also went a whole three months with no net – thanks, Sky Broadband! I also somehow managed to find myself living with some woman who claims to love me… it’s all a little strange and new. But she buys me cakes, so I think I love her too.

Of course, my writing (and gaming, and… er, other things) has been adversely effected by all this moving and rampant emotional upheaval, and for that I am truly sorry.

But, I’m back. And once again, words are fighting each other in my head, before spilling out on to… you know what? Screw the flowery nonsense. Here’s some of the stuff I wrote during my “break”.

Argh! My eyes! 1997 was so BRIGHT!

Argh! My eyes! 1997 was so BRIGHT!

I relived a fading memory from my teenage years, and reviewed a game I honestly thought I would never play again – Fighting Vipers. Recently re-released on the Xbox 360 – a mad, spangly fighting game that I spent an unhealthy number of hours playing, trying to knock armour off my opponents. Sadly, it turns out – time has not been kind to this poor old game. Read my thoughts here.

Such a lovely thing to see in motion.

Such a lovely thing to see in motion.

I ran a greasy finger along the top of Kentucky Route Zero‘s first act to see what I would find, and it was more weird than anyone could have possibly predicted – a point-and-click game that didn’t break my head or my patience. Convoluted conversations and a frighteningly open-ended story has left me very curious as to where it all will end up. Read about it here.

Pikachu! I SHOOT YOU!!!

Pikachu! I SHOOT YOU!!!

At some point in any man’s life, he must eventually admit to actually liking Super Smash Brothers. It’s just one of those things, like the tides or the moon or something. I took a slightly different path, and wrote some words on a game that is as close as you like to SSB, but contains be-vested Germans, ninja-schoolgirls and lots of guns. Super Smash Brothers, meet your maniacal half-brother, The Showdown Effect. Read my thoughts on it’s recent beta here.

*Sobs*

*Sobs*

And finally on TheRecticule.com, I cried a little. Then, I cried a lot. Then I made some tea and wrote this. Richard & Alice is one of those strange games that looks like a child drew it, and then blows you away with some of the most compelling writing in any video game you care to mention. Yes, it’s a bit twitchy at the start, and the ending confused the hell out of me, but still – one to play, chaps.

I don't like stereotypes. *Drinks a can of Irn Bru*

I don’t like stereotypes. *Drinks a can of Irn Bru*

I also wrote a little thing over on GamingDaily.co.uk about a book called Pwning N00bs – The PC Gamer’s Guide. A strange book, that has a pretty lady on the cover, yet tells you how to kill people more effectively. I couldn’t quite work it out, but feel free to read and judge for yourself here.

And that’s about it. I have more words to write, and more games to play (not in that order, obviously) and will endeavor to make sure some of them end up here. I’ve neglected my poor wee blog for a little too long. Time for action.

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