The Sub is Back – The Elder Scrolls Online

November 4, 2013 § 1 Comment

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Old news alert! I wrote this a while back and promptly forgot about it. Imagine you are reading this just after the announcement for maximum interest. Ta!

The Elder Scrolls Online is climbing the gears as it’s beta rolls on, and I am still sitting here waiting on an invite. I’m not bitter or anything, but Bethesda are really starting to fray my washcloth. Much has been said about this attempt to bring multiplayer to the lands formerly stalked by a single dragonborn/chosen one, and as I can’t validate any of it, all I can do to feel involved is sit here with my pen and my checklist of ways Bethesda could screw TESO up, and play bingo.

They announced TESO would be using monthly subs, which means I can score out “Free 2 Play” from my list, thank goodness. That would have been a massive mistake. « Read the rest of this entry »

Bioshock Infinite

April 2, 2013 § Leave a comment


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No spoilers here.

It’s a strange setup for me to be honest, and I wasn’t expecting much. The original Bioshock was a game that I really struggled to like. The setting was amazing, and the sheer level of detail contained within the damp, dripping halls of Rapture was enough to send the literary munchkin in my head into spasms of glee. And yet, the actual game left me feeling blunted and somewhat miserable.

Would you kindly stop shooting/screaming at me for a moment? I’m trying to listen to this recording…

« Read the rest of this entry »

OMG FTL FTW!

September 20, 2012 § 1 Comment

It’s probably something to do with my unhealthy fascination with Star Trek during my childhood, the prospect of captaining a fully-functioning star-ship always reduces me to a dribbling wreck of a geek. Artemis was a thing in my house a while back, until my increasingly garbled orders and over-stimulated monologues eventually started to disturb/scare my younger brothers.

None of them ever wanted to be “Captain”. I don’t blame them.    « Read the rest of this entry »

Final Fantasy 7 Coming to PC (Again)

July 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

It has been announced recently that Final Fantasy 7 is to be re-released, and (shock) is PC bound. Of course, this has already been foretold – ever since the PS3 tech-demo featuring Aeris was shown to gob-smacked crowds at some presentation or something (I’m not big on the PS3), there has been a deep murmur in certain parts of the web that a remake may be in the works.

Shame then, that it isn’t.

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Crusader Kings 2 – An Idiot in Charge

February 27, 2012 § 2 Comments

History is replete with tales of idiots. Not that I can think of any off-hand, as I think I may be remembered as one of them. Crusader Kings 2 has pretty much dissuaded me of any notion that I could be a clever, witty, urbane monarch – with the intellectual prowess to not only secure my country, but to fend off any number of attempts to usurp and destroy my mighty lineage.

Six months in, my bloody brother has already tried to bump me off and my kids absolutely hate me.

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A Dying Breed – The PC Shelf

February 6, 2012 § 4 Comments

I was in GameStation today. Not a particularly unusual thing, in itself, but I was looking for a copy of F1 2010 for the PC and I was somewhat reluctant to spend £20 on a copy from Steam. “It’ll be cheaper than that in the shops” I assured my girlfriend as we drove along. She nodded, although clearly absorbed in trying to decide what she wanted from the McDonalds I had offered as compensation for her company.

I was in for a sad afternoon.

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The Binding of Isaac on GamingDaily.co.uk

October 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

Apologies for the late link, I honestly think my brain has taken a holiday without me knowing. It’s been a busy week…  Read my The Binding Of Isaac review on GamingDaily.co.uk and quell before this disturbing, violent and thought-provoking rogue-like. Then buy it and have your own mind gently broken by the madness of it all. Seriously, it’s only four quid, and I promise you won’t get this kind of entertainment for less anywhere else.

Failing that, go watch “The Human Centipede” for a similar, if less interactive effect.

(Don’t. That was a joke. Do not under any circumstances watch that movie… just… don’t…)

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